She’s a role model to shape-shifting ladies everywhere. But how does Katya Pauncefoot, the Shadow Clan’s own feline femme fatale, manage to look so beautiful and stylish whilst holding down a full time job working for the powers of darkness? Here we reveal some of her secrets…

Hair

Katya finds that licking her right paw and running it through her hair at regular intervals gives that lovely silky look that other ladies can only dream of. She avoids contact with all other forms of liquid, especially when discharged at her from a hosepipe by an unfriendly gardener.


Clothes

Katya has an extensive wardrobe with clothes for every occasion in various shades of cream with chocolate brown accessories. Whether it’s taking over the world by evil magic or attending a high-class coven cocktail party, she always looks cool and stylish. Because of this she has been hired as a model by many top fashion designers, and can often be seen strutting her stuff on the catwalk (geddit??).

Fitness

Katya maintains her svelte figure with a rigorous exercise regime involving chasing balls of wool and/or small rodents, and dancing distractedly in the presence of shiny things. She keeps her nails in beautiful condition by regularly sharpening them on mice, furniture and people’s legs.


Food

Katya follows a strict diet; she finds that small rodents make an ideal ‘on the go’ snack. She does not recommend commercially produced cat food, and if offered any by unsuspecting humans will make a point of turning her nose up and walking away in a snooty manner (only to sneak back later to scoff the lot when they’re not looking). 

Play

Katya recognizes the benefits of maintaining a healthy work/life balance, and has numerous hobbies to keep her busy whilst she’s not enslaving the world in the name of evil.  As well as the activities mentioned above, she indulges in other pastimes such as tipping over plant pots, digging holes in other people’s lawns, teasing dogs, and running away from people when they try to stroke her. She is partial to having her tummy rubbed, although she reserves the right to bite the hand of the person rubbing her at any given moment.

A mouse a day keeps the vet away, but like all well bred cat ladies Ms Pauncefoot always leaves the head- usually on a neighbour’s door mat.

Work-time

War-time

Me-time

Meeow-time

Katya knows the health benefits of live food- not only does it taste better, but you’ll burn off calories trying to catch the stuff in the first place.

Katya’s Health,

Beauty & Fashion

             Secrets

Rest

Katya also recognizes the importance of getting her beauty sleep, and like all cats she goes out of her way to make sure her power napping does not interfere with the less important activities of co-habitant humans. The diagram below shows Katya’s favourite sleeping times and locations:

1: On your laptop when you need to catch up on some urgent emails.

2: On your bed as you are trying to make it.

3: On you, whenever least convenient.

So now you know all Katya’s secrets, there’s nothing stopping you following in her pawsteps to become the next style icon for a new generation of shape shifting feline folk! Except maybe the actual ability to change into a cat. Or a human if you are already a cat. In which case you probably wouldn’t be reading this, and are more likely to be sharpening your claws on your pet human’s furniture.


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